Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect? It’s a hypothetical theory that one small, seemingly inconsequential choice can create enormous results. It stems from the meteorologist Edward Lorenz, who asserted that the flapping of a butterfly’s wings created a chain of events that led to a tornado several weeks later. You’ve seen the idea played out in all sorts of time travel movies: the character makes one tiny change that alters history, ultimately requiring them to go back and undo their actions.
The thought of the butterfly effect can be terrifying, but it also holds promise: promise that our choices result in change. We can’t control the world around us, we can’t control the people around us, but we can control ourselves, making choices that we know will have a positive impact on ourselves. Check out the list below to consider all of the things that are truly within your own control.
- Your sleep
You can’t overstate the value of sleep in your life. Needing sleep isn’t a weakness, it’s a human necessity that deserves a lot more credit than it’s given. Sleep is the best way to reset your mind and give your body a chance to rest.
Everybody is created differently, and some thrive on six hours of sleep while others need nine; some function best early in the morning while others hit their stride in the evening. Create circumstances that allow you to get the optimal sleep you need when you need it. Don’t apologize or feel guilty for prioritizing sleep.
- Your diet
“You are what you eat” gets repeated time and again because of the truth it holds. You get a choice in what foods and drinks you put into your body. You get a choice in how much of a food or drink you put into your body. Maintaining control means choosing nutritious foods and appropriate proportions. It means considering the long-term impacts of overconsuming drinks that aren’t optimal for your health (we’re looking at you, alcohol, and energy drinks). Controlling your diet is key to controlling your health.
- Your physical fitness
Your own physical fitness is in your hands. You can choose to exercise and include movement in your daily routine. You don’t have to spend money to walk in your neighborhood or find bodyweight workout routines on YouTube. You get to control the mental and physical investment you put into your physical health.
- Your breath
Stress is one of the key factors that negatively impact our health. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of control over many stressful situations, but we do have control in how we respond to them. This article from Harvard discusses how breath focus forces our bodies to relax. The next time you’re faced with something stressful, take a moment to control your breathing- deep breath in, hold, deep breath out– and revel in the control you have over your body and mind.
- Your mental fitness
You exercise your body to keep it in prime condition; if you want to keep your brain in prime condition, you need to do the same. Maintaining your mental fitness doesn’t mean you have to complete the crossword puzzle in the paper every day or keep a Sudoku puzzle book in the bathroom. It means participating in some sort of activity that engages and challenges your mind. It’s up to you if you want to strengthen your brain and keep it sharp!
- Your emotion
One of the most memorable billboard quotes I’ve ever seen simply said, “Those who anger you control you.” Your emotions are a reaction to what’s happening around you, and you control how you react. You can choose to react in anger when you’re being treated rudely, or you can go the ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ approach. The choice is there and the choice is always yours, because you, and only you, get to control your emotions.
- Your mindset
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” You are in control of how you view your capability in any situation. You can choose a fixed mindset, believing that this is who you are and that can’t be changed, or you can choose a growth mindset, believing that you are capable of achieving your goals with determination and hard work. No one else gets to decide for you if you are capable or incapable.
- Your mindfulness
Metacognition is the term that describes thinking about thinking. It might sound redundant to think about your thinking, but it’s the first step in being more mindful. Everyone has moments where they look back and wonder, “Why did I say that? Why did I respond that way?” In the moment it almost feels like you have no control. Practicing mindfulness gives you control over your thoughts in any situation. You are in charge of how you think about any given situation.
- Your self-talk
You control how you think, so you also control how you talk to yourself. You get to decide whether you encourage or undermine yourself. You get to decide whether you replay events in your mind for hours, hashing over what you should have said, or tell yourself to move on.
- Your gratitude
Resentment comes easily when life feels overwhelming. We can choose to let the stress of a situation take control of our minds and ruin our mood, or we can choose to consider the positive aspect of a situation, no matter how trivial it might seem.
Dirty dishes in the sink stress me out. I can choose to feel frustrated about the chore of unloading the dishwasher and reloading it— and the truth is, a lot of the time, I do. But choosing gratitude changes my whole attitude. I am thankful for the dirty dishes because they’re the result of a nourishing meal. I am extra thankful for the dishwasher because I’ve lived in apartments without one, where every. single. dish. was washed by hand. Deciding to choose gratitude can change an entire situation.
- Your boundaries
It’s an exhausting cycle, dealing with a narcissistic parent or toxic boss. However, you never have to willfully agree to put yourself in situations you don’t want to be. You can choose not to overcommit your time or listen to terrible advice from your great-aunt. You even get to choose what attitude you take in setting those boundaries! Your life, your boundaries.
- Your schedule
Being in control of your boundaries also means that you have control over your schedule. You have the ability- and the right- to say no to things you don’t want to do. You get to choose a job based on the hours of work. You get to sift through commitments and dedicate your time to the things that matter to you. Don’t let others dictate how you spend your time: you get to control your schedule based on what works for you. (Unless you have a kid that’s an early riser. Then sorry, but all bets are out the windows!)
- Your honesty
Even in situations where it feels like your only choice is to lie, you are in control of your honesty. Choosing honesty doesn’t require you to share your every thought and it definitely doesn’t mean you are completely transparent about other people’s information they’ve confided to you. It means you don’t makeup excuses or tell others something just because it’s what you think they want to hear. Maintain your integrity to maintain your character.
- Your work ethic
In every aspect of your life you get to decide the effort you put into what you do. Be a responsible employee without committing your entire existence to your boss. On the other end of the spectrum, take care of chores at home and do them well the first time so no one is picking up behind you. Find your middle ground and stand firmly there.
- Your social life
Your social life, or lack thereof, is completely in your control. Whether you classify yourself as an extrovert, introvert, or middle ground ambivert, you can decide who you invest your time in, where you invest that time, and how you do so! Go on the beach trip, visit the nightclub, or stay in for a Netflix binge. Your social life should be exactly what you want it to be.
- Your body language
In any conversation we have, communication goes far beyond the words we say. The way we use our body sends a message as well. It’s hard to avoid unconscious changes in your body language, but you can control many aspects. If you want to appear friendly, you can choose to smile or share an empathetic look. If you want people to remember what you’re saying, you can use more hand gestures. A firm handshake helps you present yourself seriously. Controlling your body language helps you in sending the exact message you want others to perceive.
- Your preparedness
There is no earthly way to know what bumps in the road lie ahead. You can’t control natural disasters and personal emergencies. You can, however, anticipate them. You can choose to follow the Boy Scout motto and always be prepared. Keep an emergency bag in your car, with bottled water, a first aid kit, snacks, and tools for minor car issues. When your budget allows, buy an extra bag of dog food for that moment when you scrape the bottom of the food bucket, unprepared, or the store is out of your dog’s brand.
Being prepared for the unknown makes it a lot less stressful when the unknown makes a grand, unwelcome appearance.
- Your treatment of others
The way you treat others speaks volumes about your character. Your attitude and perception of another person can have a great deal of influence in how you interact with them. In every interaction, you get to choose how you treat others, both in your words and your actions. You even get to choose how you react when others treat you poorly. At times when it feels like your bad day is running your life, remember that you are always in control of how you treat others.
- Your treatment of yourself
Even when you treat others kindly, giving yourself the same love and grace doesn’t come as naturally. However, you get to decide that it does. You are completely in control of how you treat yourself, so decide to treat yourself with kindness. Everything on this list: your health, your mindset, your boundaries, is about how you treat yourself. You are the author of this story, the potter of this clay, the composer of this song. You get to make each choice in your life, whether they come with a positive or negative impact.
In life, there will always be areas we want to change and influence. Ultimately, the biggest impact you can make comes from your own circle of control. YOU control all of the areas within your own life! Take that power and make your life what you want it to be. Which area in your life do you have the hardest time controlling? Let us know in the comments below!
