We often drive ourselves crazy thinking “what will people say” or some other variant of it. But it’s time to stop for once and think to yourself, all this anxiety and overthinking- is it really worth it?
All the things that we needlessly fret about today, won’t be anything but mere fragments of our memories a year from now. Then why do we continue to drive ourselves crazy thinking about them?
It’s time to take a step back and go towards a notion of positive affirmations. We are not responsible for everything that people do or think, or anything else. Worrying ourselves needlessly just weighs us down, and we need to stop.
Things That Are Not Your Responsibility
- Other People’s Thoughts
The downside to propagating for free speech is, now everyone feels inclined to have an opinion about everything. And most of the time, people have this overwhelming desire to express this opinion in every way they can.
But it’s time that you stop fretting over everything they say or think, because you can’t control it. No matter how agreeable a subject is, they’ll find something to pick at.
So rather than scrutinizing yourself about every little thing, just let go. You’re not responsible for justifying or explaining things to everyone. However, people think or perceive things as their business, stop letting them affect you.
- Other People’s Feelings
I’m not trying to justify being insensitive, but unless you’re directly involved in hurting someone, you need to stop worrying about other people’s feelings.
A lot of times we base our actions on how others will feel about it. We often don’t do things we want just because we’re scared it might upset other people. But really, when you think about it, none of it really matters.
While it’s good to be mindful of others’ sentiments, sometimes it’s okay to just be a little ignorant and do things because you want to.
- Guessing Other People’s Needs
As grown-ups we shouldn’t be playing those stupid guessing games we played through high school or college.
As adults, we should all have the ability to properly communicate our needs, without expecting other people to magically know them beforehand.
This goes for all your relationships, if you feel like someone needs something from you, they should be able to say it to you like a mature person. You’re not responsible for guessing it. Nobody has the time or mental energy for that.
- Meeting Other People’s Needs
I understand that when it comes to friends and family, or when you’re dating someone, people tend to have certain expectations. It’s only natural.
But sometimes, these expectations can exceed your giving capacity and you find yourself striving to meet their needs.
That isn’t okay. You should totally want to go above and beyond for people that you love or care about, and if you do it that’s great.
However, you aren’t bound to do it. Meeting everyone’s expectations all the time is practically impossible, don’t force yourself to do it.
- Other People’s Opinion Of You
Human nature is super subjective to everyone. You can be the best person to ever exist for someone while being the worst for someone else.
The thing is, you can’t make everyone happy no matter how hard you try. So stop thinking of it as your duty to do so. What people think about you is a reflection of their own personality, stop trying to control it.
- How People Perceive You
You’re free to express yourself however you want. You can’t just base it off other people’s interpretations.
People that actually care about you will make an effort to see through the real you. Other than that, how most people perceive you, isn’t your headache to deal with.
- Making Other People Happy
As humans, we often strive for validation. A lot of us do this by trying to make others happy in whatever way we can.
But you need to understand that it’s not your job to always make other people happy. You can do your best, whenever you want to, but don’t drive yourself crazy with the effort. This may include:
Our parents tend to have a number of expectations from us. And no matter what your relationship dynamics are, we always have this need to make them happy.
But sometimes, we do it at the expense of our own dreams and plans. And that isn’t okay. While you should care about them, you’re not responsible to always live by their standards for their sake.
Yes, making them happy is important, but ensuring your own happiness is just as important.
When you commit to someone, it’s natural for them to expect happiness through you. But again, you can’t make others happy if you’re not happy yourself.
Yes, it’s good to want to make your partner happy, but know that it’s not your sole responsibility. Happiness comes from within, and they need to make an effort for it too!.
- Fixing Other People’s Problems
It’s good to be there for other people, as much as you can be. However, it’s not your job to fix their issues for them.
Everyone is responsible for their own actions, so whatever problems or issues that come out of things they do, it’s for them to fix. Not you!
Besides, everyone has enough on their plate already. And you probably do too. If you constantly try to fix other people’s problems, you’ll eventually end up neglecting your own problems, and ultimately, they’ll pile up and cause you trouble.
Just try to prioritize your mental and physical health every now and then, and learn to say no.
- Other People’s Choices
Anyone that is an adult by law, is 100% responsible for their choices. Whether it’s a good choice or a bad choice, they made it themselves so it’s their responsibility to deal with the repercussions, not yours.
You can advise them and point them in the right direction but that’s about it. Ultimately, it comes down to their own decision and you can’t do much about it.
No matter what they say, it’s not your responsibility and you shouldn’t think any other way.
- Other People’s Mistakes
We often have the tendency to justify or make excuses for people we care about. And that’s okay as long as you know that it’s not your job to do so.
Whatever mistakes other people make are their responsibility alone. Unless you had a direct hand in it, you have no business dealing with it or taking the fall for it.
It’s not your job to watch everyone’s back all the time, they need to think about their actions before they commit them, it’s not your job to deal with it later on.
Conclusion
Lastly, just remember that you’re only responsible for your own thoughts and actions. How people perceive them or what they think about them, is not something you can control.
While it’s good to empathize with other people and be a considerate person for their sake, just make sure you’re not jeopardizing your own mental peace while you’re at it.
Once we consider something our responsibility, it tends to weigh us down. And we feel like we’re under the obligation to fulfill it every single time.
To avoid burning out, you need to make a clear distinction on what is and is not your responsibility. By doing so, you can live a better, more peaceful life!
