Have you found success in life but questioned if you deserve status in your career or the accolades you have received?
Let us know if any of the following sounds familiar: You keep thinking that you “got lucky” despite working very hard to achieve your goals. You’ve possibly received praise from your superiors, family, and friends but feel you don’t deserve it. And here’s the big one, whether you realize it or not, you have set an unreasonable and impossibly high standard for yourself.
These are just some of the signs of someone who has imposter syndrome. If this at all sounds like you or someone you know, read on for tips to manage and overcome these feelings of inadequacy.
- Be Aware of the Signs
The biggest sign of them all is when you tear yourself apart for minor setbacks, mistakes, and imperfections. Maybe you negatively speak to yourself despite making exceptional strides and putting all your effort into your goals. Notice these moments of aggravation when they happen.
Recognize your triggers so that you can stop yourself from saying terrible things that you would never say to a friend, to yourself. When you can detect what provokes the negative self-speak that is caused by imposter syndrome, you can help stop it and reframe your thoughts.
- Remember You’re Not Alone
Know you are not the first nor the only person to ever feel defeated despite your great achievements. Many people suffer from imposter syndrome; unfortunately, it is incredibly common. Some of the most successful people, from CEOs to celebrities to politicians, are anguished with self-doubt.
Many people convince themselves that they are not enough when, in actuality, they deserve every last praise they receive.
- Identify the Differences Between Humility and Fear
In these moments of self-doubt, it is easy to find yourself hiding your successes from others or minimizing your efforts. When you work hard to become good at what you do, it can seem painless to get through. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t receive praise or admiration —it means you’ve been working for years to get to this point, so you, OF COURSE, deserve to be applauded.
Humility is also admirable and even necessary at times. However, never forget to acknowledge your worth. There is no need to feel like a fraud when you succeed “easily,” and when it’s not easy, you don’t have to minimize it because you think you “got lucky.” Some moments call for humility, but fear should not be one of them.
- Don’t Try to Be Perfect
Allow this to be your reminder that no one is perfect at anything, and no one is great on the first try. The moments people who define themselves as perfectionists berate themselves the most are when they try something for the first time and don’t get it right immediately. We all have some natural talents, but we will never be naturally talented at everything we do.
Most people who suffer from imposter syndrome are high achievers who envision a “perfect” result. When that result does not come to fruition, they feel like a fraud and talk down to themselves. Don’t let yourself get caught up in this cycle that can turn into self-hate.
- Be Your Biggest Fan
Instead of talking down to and scolding yourself when something doesn’t turn out, or being wary of starting something new, talk yourself up. Have your own back; talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. You would never tell them that they are worthless or incapable, nor should you do so to yourself.
Pump yourself up when you see new opportunities. Tell yourself you are not only capable of achieving your goals but also deserving. It’s vital for your mental health, stability, and general well-being for you to be kind to yourself. We know it is next to impossible to fully shut out negative speak, but what you can do is suppress it and allow for the positive talk to overpower the defeatist and cynical talk.
- Celebrate Your Successes
Often, those who suffer from imposter syndrome find themselves unable to see everything they’ve done to get to where they are today. You might regularly find yourself attributing your wins to the work others have done or, once again, to luck. Make sure to track all of your successes and accomplishments so that you not only acknowledge them but celebrate them.
There is a multitude of ways to track your successes; it will vary based on your career and responsibilities. But what we really encourage you to do is keep a notebook or computer file with a record of every win you have. Along with every win, be sure to write a positive statement where you congratulate yourself. Don’t stop there, though. It’s good to write it down, but it’s better to revisit your epitaphs. Reading them as a form of affirmation of how good you are, how great you did, and a reminder that you can continue to do amazing work will reap great benefits for your self-esteem.
- Rely on Your Mentor or Superior for Support
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in your field – you can be green, or a tenured executive – imposter syndrome hits at every level. Our minds don’t care how far we’ve come. This is why you should have a mentor in your field, whether that person is your direct superior or someone who has gone through the trenches before, who can help guide you.
When you need to discuss where you are heading on your career path or why you are keeping yourself from moving forward, this person can and should be very straightforward with you. This is the person who will give you the perspective you don’t have. They can give you their objective views on your wins and what you can push a little harder at.
What this person will not do is let you spiral. Having a mentor who sees your successes and qualities will celebrate you and give you the confidence you are lacking.
- Embrace New Opportunities
In the thick of feeling like a fraud, it can be hard to accept or seek out new opportunities. You may think that what you have is the best you can do and that opening up to new possibilities will show everyone you’ve been faking it all along. It’s that negative voice in your head working against you; remember that, and accept new undertakings that will only expand your skills and wealth of knowledge.
It can be scary to start anew because there will be skills you don’t have mastered, think back to what we listed above regarding perfectionism. It’s perfectly normal and ok not to know everything right off the bat. That’s the beauty of taking on new responsibilities or a job where you are learning something new. You will take what you’re already an expert at and use it to gain an understanding of what you don’t. Know that everyone is continuously learning and growing alongside you.
- Use How You Feel In Your Favor
When you feel like the biggest fraud – and as if your family, friends, and coworkers don’t know that throughout your whole day you are completely faking it – is when you probably are also at your lowest of lows. These moments are when you must remember that you, and only you, have gotten yourself to where you are. No one handed you your years of experience on a silver platter; you worked hard to make it.
Turn the deep-seated fear of being a fraud on its head by recognizing that you’re making your dreams come true. By being a leader in your field or competitive in your trade, you’ve become a standout employee who deserves the pay, status, and brand you have created for yourself.
- Question Your Thoughts
In the same vein of defying your fears of being a fraud, when you do, question the thoughts you are having. Truly —sit down and evaluate if there is any basis supporting the doubts and fears you have about yourself. Some questions to ask yourself include:
- Why am I doubting my success?
- Did something happen to cause the doubt?
- Am I holding on to past failures?
- Did someone say something to affect how I feel about myself?
- What have I done today, this week, this year to warrant the praise I receive?
Many jobs have a year-end evaluation where you have to sit down with yourself and be introspective about what you did spectacularly in the year and where you can grow. This is a practice anyone who suffers from imposter syndrome should do on a month-to-month basis to make sure you reflect and make changes as needed to how you think about yourself.
- Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to your coworkers, friends, or anyone at all brings nothing good. It is a sure-fire way to belittle yourself and tear yourself apart without enough information. We only see what others present publicly to the world. Whether that’s in person or on social media, no one puts their struggles and uphill battles up for everyone to see on display.
You might feel like others achieve greatness effortlessly, but you don’t see when they grapple with their version of imposter syndrome or hardships that they must endure getting to who they are today. Remember, you are climbing your own mountain, and they are climbing theirs. It will never look the same, and that’s the beauty of it. It shouldn’t look the same. You are writing the story of your life, your career, and your relationships —and no one else’s.
- You Are Amazing
The fact that you came here to read about how to overcome your imposter syndrome means you’re trying to better yourself. You are already taking steps to heal yourself of the negative language you have in your mind toward yourself. It’s possible to get to a point where you feel like the boss that you are. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.
What Triggers Imposter Syndrome?
There is a multitude of reasons why any person might suffer from imposter syndrome. Feeling like a fraud can stem from personality traits, from being a perfectionist to how you were raised and the belief system instilled in you. It can also be an intrinsic part of societal culture, work culture, and overall environment.
If you have gone through phases of imposter syndrome or are going through it now, we want to hear from you! What have you done to help yourself out of this cyclical negative space? After reading this article, have you been able to reassess how you see yourself and how you speak to yourself? Let us know in the comments below and share with us any ideas you have that may help our readers.
