How To Calm Yourself When You’re Angry: 9 Ways To Cool Down

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Do you remember the last time somebody told you to calm down? Chances are that didn’t help. We often get to the stage where we have to calm ourselves or others down in difficult situations. But if we don’t do it right, we may be pouring fuel in flames! Anger is a strong emotion, and various things can make different people angry, and anger can be destructive. How can you calm down when angry?

It might be a bit challenging, but having a few tips handy can help you calm down when you’re feeling anxious or angry. Here are some healthy tips that will help you chill and relax when you are angry.

9 Ways To Calm Yourself Down

Anger comes from your mind. That’s why the most important thing you should do when you are angry is to feel your mind and search for a reason. That is why the first thing you should do is breathe.

These 15 simple tips you can do to calm yourself down will help you control your emotions. However, you have to practice them every day until they become your automatic response in any irritating or annoying situation. 

You will make mistakes, forget to practice but as soon as you become aware of this, just start again right from where you are.

  1. Deep Breathing

There are breathing techniques that can help you relax your nerves when you get angry. Short and shallow breaths are common signs that you’re anxious or angry. That is what reinforces your fight-or-flight response. You must disrupt this response by doing the opposite, taking long, deep calming breaths.

How can you learn this?

The first step is to become conscious of your breathing. As you follow your breath, change it until you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. As you do that, imagine your breath going all the way down below your belly button and emptying out from there. Allow your shoulders to drop and allow the tension to fall away from your body on the exhale.

Now, here is how to practice deep breathing: 

You have to breathe in from your nose and breathe out from your mouth, but remember to concentrate on breathing. 

Some people find concentrating a challenge when they are angry. If you cannot concentrate because of your anger, count slowly from 1 to 20, and then count backward from 20 to 1. 

Once you calmly breathe and are conscious of your breathing, you can practice many breathing techniques.

  1. Take Responsibility

Allow yourself to feel nervous or upset. When you admit your feeling and encourage yourself to express them, your anxiety and anger can decrease.

The best place to start to calm is to understand why you’re angry or irritated. It could be a lack of sleep or stress. Or it could be that you are just unhappy with yourself.

Experts have realized that anger is usually a mask for our fears and insecurities. It is often easier to pass that aggression on another person. Nonetheless, if we take the time to understand what is wrong, we may confront the issue head-on rather than take it out on someone else.

Never invalidate your feelings. You have a right to feel them. Try to identify what is reasonable for your anger. What will you think of other people who get angry in similar situations?

As we have seen, you have to try to breathe through the anger without allowing it to control you. Then, talk yourself through the emotions your anger is covering up. Once you address those problems, you will feel calm.

  1. Exit The Scene

The best advice that works in annoying situations is to change the scene. Sometimes, just being in the presence of that person or that annoying situation can continue to fuel your rage. 

If you are angry, leave the room, take a stroll outside, or do anything to get yourself out of the situation that’s fueling your rage. After you have exited or changed the scene, you can try deep breathing techniques and validating your feelings.

Taking a walk releases endorphins in your brain and how you feel pain. This will help you to remove the bad energy and anxiety or anger. It will help you to calm down.

  1. Check Your Thoughts

When you are anxious or angry, you tend to act on irrational thoughts that may not make sense after calming down. 

In many cases, you start thinking of the worst-case scenarios. And these thoughts are usually destructive.

When you start having these bad, destructive thoughts, you should stop and challenge your thoughts. Challenge your thoughts and turn them around. You will find that you don’t even have to worry about so many things.

  1. Visualize Yourself Calm

This is a way to convince your mind that you are not continuing in rage mode. 

To do this, practice deep breathing techniques that work for you. With a few breaths, close your eyes and picture yourself differently. 

Imagine yourself relaxed and working through a stressful or upsetting situation. Picture yourself being calm and focused.

This mental picture you have created will serve as a reference whenever you need to calm down when you’re anxious or angry. 

  1. Change Your Focus

The more you focus on the issue that is making you anxious or angry, the more enraged you may become. 

Try to shift your focus from the situation. You can watch funny videos or listen to your favorite songs. Listening to good music can calm your body and mind. Find anything to help you take your mind away from the situation.

  1. Keep A Journal

If you feel very angry or anxious, you might not want to talk t anyone about your feelings. The worse thing you can ever do to yourself in this situation is to bottle up your emotions. If you cannot tell someone else about it, get a journal and write down your feelings. 

You don’t have to worry about writing correct sentences or punctuation. Writing will help provide an outlet for negative thoughts.

  1. Relax Your Body

The muscles in your body might be tense when you’re anxious or angry. If you want to calm down, you have to relax your muscles. Progressive muscle relaxation can help you relax.

Relaxation will help you get a firmer grip on your mood. It will set your mind free of the stress you might be going through. The means to relax will take more effort than releasing your anger temporarily.

  • First of all, you need to get in a position where your body is comfortable. The stress your body will put on you might change the course of your relaxation.
  • Either close your eyes or stare into a still object or wall.
  • Imagine a white sheet of paper or whatever resembles emptiness in your mind.
  • Begin drawing on that sheet something that will keep you calm as long as the drawing is still and at the same time expanding.

This process will take a little longer, but it will put you in the right set of mind.

  1. Fuel Your Body (Maybe You’re Just Hangry?)

Eating can help you relax. Many of these techniques won’t work if you’re hungry or not adequately hydrated. That’s why it’s essential to slow down and get something to eat.

Nonetheless, you have to watch out that you don’t get hung up with emotional eating. You should not get into a habit of eating every time you get upset.

Which of these tips have you tried? What calms you down when you get angry? Please share with us in the comments section. 

Related Questions

Why do I get angry so quickly?

Several things can trigger anger. Triggers are different for many different people. A person can get angry quickly because of personal problems, traumatic memory or an enraging event, an issue another person caused by someone else, or another event like poor traffic or an accident. Anger problems can also be caused by hormonal changes and even mental disorders.

How long does it take to calm down after being angry?

When you are angry, your body is in flight or fight mode, and your muscles get tense. It takes the body about 20 minutes to return to normal.

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