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Making friends online may seem quite easy. You just have to be in one social media platform, create a profile and start sending friend requests, right? Everyone wishes it was that easy! You can have several followers online, but how can you make REAL friends online? That is why many people have millions of ‘friends’ on their social media but still feel lonely.
You need real friends in your life. Well, social media is one of the easiest places to meet and start great friendships, even if you think you are not sociable. This article will help you to make good friends online. You will also learn how to be safe online when making friends.
Before we dive in, we have to wear safety gloves and goggles. The world wide web can be like a dark alley, and it would be stupid to walk in unprepared. Many people have become prey to cybercrime, cyber-bullying, or even kidnapping because they don’t know how to play it safe online.
How To Be Safe Online
With hackers, scammers, cyberbullies, and many unspeakable vices, the internet can be as dangerous as it is useful. Here are 4 tips to get you started:
- Limit Your Personal Info
The most terrible thing you could do when trying to make a profile online is to put up all of your personal information in your bio.
We understand that many social media platforms require some personal information before you can join. However, there are forms of security and privacy settings you can use to protect your data.
Facebook, for instance, has some security measures in which users can change how their friends see their profile and information. You can use this to limit your account visibility to a select few friends.
Also, remember to try not to share things like your baby photos or photos of your garage or driveway.
Here are a few things you should not put online. If possible, limit them to close-friends-only or selected Family members.
- Your current location
- Your home or work address
- Your phone number and emails
- Your date of birth and private information
You should do this because if someone knows your hometown, maiden name, and birth date, they can use it to answer privacy questions on bank financial platforms and other websites. So, you have to check your privacy settings to see that your personal information is not set to public views. Otherwise, you could be putting not just yourself but your family and close friends up for scams or robbery.
- Protect Your Mobile Life
Telephones and other mobile devices have become increasingly more vulnerable over time. We are faced with new risks, like phishing apps and links sent by SMS or text. You have to be careful when following links on social media and what messages you respond to. It is advised you only download apps from official app stores after reading other users’ reviews.
- Protect Your Passwords On Social Media
The best way to protect yourself from hacking is to set strong passwords. You could set individual passwords for each of your social media accounts as it gives higher security.
Don’t sweat it, there is no need to worry about remembering all the passwords. You can use a password manager to remind you of whatever password you need when you prompt it.
- Manage Your Friends And Followers
Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by the desperation that you accept every friend or follower request you get. For instance, if a stranger sends you a friend request, they might be scammers or bots. You should only make friends with people you can trust.
Stay away from:
- Accounts with no personal information
- New accounts with no picture and only a few friends
- People that send you unsolicited messages, including links, promises, or asking you to invest
Ultimately, many things on social media are not what they seem.
With this fantastic knowledge, you are ready to go online and find some really good friends.
How And Where To Make Friends Online
The first step in making online friends more like you is finding the right platform for you. You’ll meet more people who share your interests if you join a network of like-minded people. That is how to scout. First, make yourself available for friendship by being online.
Let’s talk about where to go:
Social networking websites/apps
Here are some of my favorite social media websites or apps you can meet like-minded people online:
- Bumble BFF
- Discord
- Reddit (subreddits)
- Meetup.com
- Nextdoor.com
- Friender
Where To Find Friends
You can ‘meet’ anyone you want on any of these online platforms. But to establish a good relationship with someone, you need to meet people that share your interests. You can use hashtags to find these people on networks like Instagram, Twitter, or even Facebook. You will also find exciting people among those that comment on your posts.
You should take a step further by joining a niche forum or group on social media. The niche groups are called communities in social media platforms like Twitter, MeetUp, and Reddit. You can even tweak it up a bit by filtering the communities that include people in your area. That will make it easier to meet them and take your friendship to the next level.
If you play online video games, that is another excellent avenue to make friends. You already have something in common. All that is left is to get to know each other better. Some games have a Voice Chat feature where players can talk to one another while playing. Join in the voice chat when you play games. Nonetheless, never give out too much personal information when chatting to strangers online.
You can meet new friends in video games like Fortnite, League of Legends, Overwatch, and DOTA.
You can make friends with several people from the comfort of your home. You can even meet friends of your friends on social media like Twitter, Facebook, etc. You can start a friendly chat with coworkers too. In later parts of this article, we will talk about how not to make it awkward.
How To Make Friends Online
Now that you know where to find people who share your interests and are more likely to be good friends with you. Let us talk about how you can turn those connections into friendships.
We will take you from the basics. First, to make a good friend, you have to show up as a good friend. How are you seen online? Here are some quality tips:
- Be Yourself, Personalize Your Bio
Some people spend hours thinking of the perfect one-liner or song lyric to include in their profile bio to get attention. But it really is not that hard to get someone to like you. As long as you’re authentic and you are yourself, bonding with like-minded persons online or offline is a piece of cake. Honestly, the secret is to love yourself first for who you are and be honest. The right person for you will seek you out.
- Share Your Interests
You might talk about your interests and some elements of your personality in your profile if you cannot talk about them in your posts. Put them out the best way you would tell everyone this if you were on a podium with a boom mic. Think of whatever sparks your own interests in a conversation, something a potential friend can pick as a hint to go on with you. Your profile bio is the first thing people see when you send them a friend request or request to follow.
- Join Specific, Interest-Based Communities
Try doing an online search for a community that shares your interests and hobbies. From there, you can meet individuals you connect with.
- Have Honest Conversations
Start by commenting on people’s posts. When you drop nice comments on people’s posts, you will easily catch their attention. However, you have to make sure to be honest and not exaggerate. In groups or communities you joined, you can comment on other people’s posts or ask them questions.
Being active in the group is the first step. You can post a question about something you are curious about. That is one way to start a conversation in a group. People who want to engage in a conversation will most likely provide answers or ask more questions.
When you are active, asking questions and commenting on people’s posts, you will start knowing more people, and they will know you too. From here, you get an idea of who is likeable and who you might not get along with.
If you have found one such person you feel that you can get along with, you can take the initiative to send them a message to see if they’d like a conversation. Keep your first message simple and direct for the best results.
An excellent example of a simple and direct first message to a new potential friend is, “Hello there, checking out your profile, and we have quite a lot in common. Reply to this message if you think so, too!”
- Be Friendly, Social, And Caring, But Not Needy
Your new online friends have their own commitments too, and you should respect that. You should be respectful if you want others to respect you. However, if you feel uncomfortable chatting with someone online, you can back out of the chat. You don’t want people thinking you are desperate or needy.
Try to chat with several potential friends instead of only one person. This helps you avoid getting attached to any single person you have never met because there is always another fun person to meet up or chat with. This measure ensures that you would not invest too many feelings and energy in this new relationship than the other person. Otherwise, one of you would feel too much pressure and run away, which might leave the other hanging.
- Genuinely Care About Others And Be Curious About Them
True friends show that they truly care about their friends. If you want a good friend, you have to be a good friend. So, you have to show your new friends that you care about them.
Nevertheless, some questions may seem too private to talk about, especially with a stranger. Don’t go on asking about their grannies unless, of course, you are talking about grannies. Still, there are some things you want to know, but asking them might sound like you are poking their privacy. An example of such a question is “Where do you live?” I will go on the defensive if a random stranger asks for my house address.
If you want to truly bond with your new friend, here is a way to tweak that question into a deeper conversation mover:
Don’t ask, “Where are you staying right now?” You can ask, “What do you think about where you live?”
When you ask about someone’s feelings about something, you create a deeper and meaningful conversation. If the person is comfortable enough to get personal with you, it makes the conversation flow even more easily.
Some more examples of deep conversation movers are
- Where do you wish to settle down if you had the chance?
- What do you wish you have now?
You too should be willing to answer their questions honestly if you want them to answer yours. And if you feel uncomfortable about a question, you can say, “I’d rather not talk about that right now.”
- Propose An IRL-Meetup In A Public Space
Now, to take your friendship to the next level, you can propose to meet up in a public place where you can gist. After you’ve chatted for a while, you might feel like spending time with your new friend in person. This will deepen your friendship with them, but some people may not be very excited to get out of their shell.
You can send a message to someone you would like to meet, especially if they stay around your area to meet up with you. You can say, “I’d really love to meet you for coffee and show you these amazing paintings I did in my color book. Is this Saturday okay by you?”
Respect their response, whatever it may be. That doesn’t mean you can’t try again. What do you know? They might even prompt the meet-up!
Common Mistakes To Avoid
When trying to make friends online, some mistakes can pull you back. Let’s talk about some of them.
- Do Nothing Or Ghost
This is the fastest way to ruin a potential friendship. Once you create your account, you have to set yourself up for success. You have to start looking for groups or communities to join. You have to start making posts and commenting on other people’s posts. That is how to make an entrance.
- Talking Too Much About Yourself
Another grim mistake when chatting with a potential friend online or in real life is to make the conversation about you alone. You have not invited the person to a reality show. You want to know them as much as you want them to know you. It is a two-way thing.
Opening up to someone is essential to form a connection with them. But it has to be mutual to work. The last and most terrible thing you want is to feel a lot closer to your friend than they feel close to you. Avoid this mistake by focusing on knowing them.
- Not Talking Enough About Yourself
What is worse than talking too much about yourself? Not talking about yourself! Don’t get me wrong, you have to strike a balance. Aim to speak as much or as little as you listen. If you don’t say anything about yourself and keep asking the other person questions about themselves, you may look like an interrogator.
- Complaining
Nothing annoys other people online than a stranger complaining that they are not answering their messages. Please don’t be that stranger. Understand that your online friends too have work or study and may not always be available to answer their messages even hours after sending them. If you get whiny because your friend did not reply to your messages, it will show you needy or overdemanding. And that is a big turn-off.
- Not Being Honest
One stupid mistake that some people are tempted to fall into is portraying fake life on social media. If you want to make a real friend online, you have to be honest. Don’t make up lies about places you’ve never been or things you have never done. Honesty will earn you respect and trust. Those are the backbones of lasting friendships. If you want a lasting friendship, you have to begin with honesty.
- Being Too Eager To Meet Up
When trying to make friends online, it’s normal to want to meet them right away. Don’t be afraid to invite your new friend for a meet-up. However, always respect their decision if they say “no”. Don’t force it. Let some time pass so that your new friend becomes interested in meeting up with you. In fact, it’s better if they take the initiative!
If you’re really feeling lonely, you should just talk to another online friend. Remember to be safe when meeting with a stranger in a public place. Tell someone else before you leave home and tell them where you are going and when you are likely to come back. You can even drop your friend’s details with them just in case. Don’t eat or drink anything from a stranger on your first meeting unless they bought in your presence.
4 Signs You’ve Made A Friend For Life
How would you know if you are perfect for each other? Here are some signs that you will begin to notice when you are around your friend online or in real life:
- You feel safe and comfortable when they are online or when you are with them in person
- You don’t have to pretend because you can be brutally honest with them, and you are sure they understand you.
- You get each other’s weirdness without judgment
- You spent hours joking and laughing together
Benefits Of Online Friendships
We all need friendships. For most people who are shy and love the confines of their rooms, online friendships are more effective. The internet provides a safe platform for these people who avoid face-to-face social settings the opportunity to make friends.
Although these friendships are formed online, psychologists have discovered that they provide the same emotional and psychological benefits as face-to-face relationships. Online friendships can also help shy people to relieve the social anxiety that comes with meeting new people face to face to have long conversations.
Online friendships help to break down the barrier of distance in a significant way. This means that you can make friends from all over the world with only a few clicks or taps on your smartphone, thanks to digital communication. Back in the day, people will have to write pen pals who may never even get the letters!
